So today I lost some of the many people who I don't need in my life. And since I'm pretty sure,one of them is still lurking on every single one of my accounts. My so called best friend Juan is one of them! To be honest,it feels so great to put it out there. I don't need any backstabbing simpleton. It was never in my nature to put up with shit from people,I stick up for myself. And the people I love,but he was just to much of a follower to need my help.
However,I don't wish him bad! I'm a good person although I must mention that I wish for him double what he did to me. When one door closes,two doors open and fortunately I have five different doors.
Thanks for making me see the light JACKASS.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Long Story,No end yet.
INTRODUCTION?
As if to die next to you would be considered a punishment.
I'm not going to mention the variety of bland characters I have met in my lifetime. However,I feel the delight to mention those who are and have modified my views in life.
It's hard to forget those days when the only thing I could think of was my departure,my end. I guess happiness is something that comes when you are just about to give up. And I do not mean to inspire some solitary soul,thinking about those things is never something you should even be hoping for.
But to slowly drag on to the point;I would like to begin my first blog from a recent clash in my life.
Sex has never been an essential thing to me,I've never had it and I don't feel the rush to do it. I personally believe that the longer I wait, the better it will be. So when I was exposed to this "sex after" type of situation,I had nothing to do but to choke. And hope that my tears would cling onto my lacrimal gland and just hold on for dear life. After all the last thing I want to do is be seen crying by who I thought was the love of my life for months. Now let me not mention the moments before when I felt that I was being used for a name,just to be someone he could call his gf.
Chapter 1
Life was never that admirable;So as I sit here looking down on you awake,vigorous, yet somewhat..faultfinding fools,I reminisce my own life. I recall the first days of my life,the birth,the death,the rebirth. The life that I took for granted and others wished was there own,I took that life and like you are doing now,my dear friend
I broke it down slowly into bits and pieces and made it collapse,but I suppose now that does not matter. After all,had it not been for my half-witted misconception,this story would not be told.
It all started a couple years back,in a place you will never know, around people you will never meet. A child was brought to this place, a place where nothing that comes or may come out of your mouth would EVER be considered. But the day this woman said she would have a child at an old age not only was she "considered" crazy but her child was considered what they call mentally challenged. However,against everyones will,she had a child a typical child with very aberrant qualities.
{TO BE CONTINUED}
(UGHHH! I lost my train of thought)
As if to die next to you would be considered a punishment.
I'm not going to mention the variety of bland characters I have met in my lifetime. However,I feel the delight to mention those who are and have modified my views in life.
It's hard to forget those days when the only thing I could think of was my departure,my end. I guess happiness is something that comes when you are just about to give up. And I do not mean to inspire some solitary soul,thinking about those things is never something you should even be hoping for.
But to slowly drag on to the point;I would like to begin my first blog from a recent clash in my life.
Sex has never been an essential thing to me,I've never had it and I don't feel the rush to do it. I personally believe that the longer I wait, the better it will be. So when I was exposed to this "sex after" type of situation,I had nothing to do but to choke. And hope that my tears would cling onto my lacrimal gland and just hold on for dear life. After all the last thing I want to do is be seen crying by who I thought was the love of my life for months. Now let me not mention the moments before when I felt that I was being used for a name,just to be someone he could call his gf.
Chapter 1
Life was never that admirable;So as I sit here looking down on you awake,vigorous, yet somewhat..faultfinding fools,I reminisce my own life. I recall the first days of my life,the birth,the death,the rebirth. The life that I took for granted and others wished was there own,I took that life and like you are doing now,my dear friend
I broke it down slowly into bits and pieces and made it collapse,but I suppose now that does not matter. After all,had it not been for my half-witted misconception,this story would not be told.
It all started a couple years back,in a place you will never know, around people you will never meet. A child was brought to this place, a place where nothing that comes or may come out of your mouth would EVER be considered. But the day this woman said she would have a child at an old age not only was she "considered" crazy but her child was considered what they call mentally challenged. However,against everyones will,she had a child a typical child with very aberrant qualities.
{TO BE CONTINUED}
(UGHHH! I lost my train of thought)
Mothers are all slightly insane
Tuesday,July 28th [2:40pm]
The history my mom and I have is just unimaginable. The problems we endure are just ridiculous and the sad part; it's not with other people it's with each other. I guess we all take this torture,or at least I hope.
I would hate to be the only one going through this,I swear she goes from wanting to read my journal to wanting read my friends journals or personal posts. I love my mother but with things like that I just take a stand.
Glad to know,I was trained to always win.
The history my mom and I have is just unimaginable. The problems we endure are just ridiculous and the sad part; it's not with other people it's with each other. I guess we all take this torture,or at least I hope.
I would hate to be the only one going through this,I swear she goes from wanting to read my journal to wanting read my friends journals or personal posts. I love my mother but with things like that I just take a stand.
Glad to know,I was trained to always win.
Old posts//Same meanings
As I got up from bed a few days ago I started thinking about how ridiculous us human beings are. We think money is everything,how we live,what we do. Our planet is falling apart and we only care about our clothes,hair material things. What if in the blink of an eye,it all vanishes.
I mean we all know eventually are beautiful planet is going to give up on us and all that garbage is gonna go to waste. Why don’t we just live the way we want to as in a natural way. Make less out of material and enjoy things that matter.
It’s not only a good idea but you are saving our planet.
And in a sense you are adapting to having less,so when the day comes,that you don’t have anything to wear or your ipod broke,you have more meaningful things to look foward too.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Everything is going to fall into place,with or without you.
Truth be told;I don't need you,I have got: Juan,Cammie,Chrissy,Sean,Tommy,Jake && my family.
Screw you! You can suck your best friends small deck.
Screw you! You can suck your best friends small deck.
And I bet that after you have lost all the pounds the last thing to lose is your heart.
My crippled heart sits here embodied in its own shadow,why don't you just take it out and keep it. Don't hand it over again in pieces that not even band-aids can hold together. Sometimes I sit here and question myself,"What have I done to deserve a broken heart?". I know that there is someone to blame for the dispersing of my personal secrets. These untrue accusations,have come from a mouth I hope I will never meet. Or perhaps I have already met him!
That I hope I will never know.
That I hope I will never know.
LIfe is like a movie just the complete opposite and with nothing in common.
As i deliberately fell sleep earlier today,I had a smart thought.
It's so much more effortless to wake up then to fall into a deep abysmal sleep,the concept sort of reminds me of Alice In Wonderland actually. However,hers has twists and curves to it, mines just a callous disaster.
And now that I hear the soundtrack to the wonderful Chicken Little,I must mention the deceitful moments in this life,from 'Hongalugee' (ditching),to the nose scratching (shut the fuck up!).
It's so much more effortless to wake up then to fall into a deep abysmal sleep,the concept sort of reminds me of Alice In Wonderland actually. However,hers has twists and curves to it, mines just a callous disaster.
And now that I hear the soundtrack to the wonderful Chicken Little,I must mention the deceitful moments in this life,from 'Hongalugee' (ditching),to the nose scratching (shut the fuck up!).
As if to die next to you would be considered a punishment.
I'm not going to mention the variety of bland characters I have met in my lifetime. However,I feel the delight to mention those who are and have modified my views in life.
It's hard to forget those days when the only thing I could think of was my departure,my end. I guess happiness is something that comes when you are just about to give up. And I do not mean to inspire some solitary soul,thinking about those things is never something you should even be hoping for.
But to slowly drag on to the point;I would like to begin my first blog from a recent clash in my life.
Sex has never been an essential thing to me,I've never had it and I don't feel the rush to do it. I personally believe that the longer I wait, the better it will be. So when I was exposed to this "sex after" type of situation,I had nothing to do but to choke. And hope that my tears would cling onto my lacrimal gland and just hold on for dear life. After all the last thing I want to do is be seen crying by who I thought was the love of my life for about three months. Now let me not mention the moments before when I felt that I was being used for a name,just to be someone he could call his gf. But I guess great friends win over that fact.
Friday,June 24th
What I do for my friends is something not even my family would forgive. We took a ride to Pembroke today,to help my friend get past the feelings for this heart-breaker.I guess that we got to our destination and were being
completely ignored but I guess getting in the bus was even worse,the distance was unbearable. Me and my so called boyfriend ignored each other the whole ride to the house. Thank god my friends were there and we threw a couple of smiles and giggles back and forth,which definitely kept the ride "joyful". The house was where the whole sex thing happened,the clinging tears,the false i love you's and all the rest. And in the end after all the artificial kisses,I walked back into the bus with a shattered heart.
Saturday,June 25th
I'm sure a couple of my nonexistent readers have heard of the admirable Warped Tour. You know the one where a girl gets lost in the pouring rain and can't find her best friend,boyfriend or old crush. That's the one I'm talking about. But nothing inexplicable and exciting really happened there. Except for the sloppy kiss in the rain in front of half of the crowd. Oh,I almost forgot to mention the fact that Jacob came over with his dirty legs from the show and cuddled with me while he held my hand watching El Cantante. I guess it was romantic excluding that my sister (6) was here and my mom was coming back home in three hours. And let's not forget that I have a so called boyfriend.
Sunday,June 26th
I have only one thing to say,One only; Mom came home today at 10am.
Monday,June 27th
Cammie and Chrissy came over,I love it how they just call me the day before to let me know that they will be here in the morning. I could not wish for any better friends,really. I met them almost halfway to my house (walking distance) with two cups of lemonade in each hand. Got a comment from a man who asked me if I was " Going to refill my lemonade stand?". And then watched Cammie attempt to finish writing her blog. Then we went to Walgreens to buy feminine products,candy,take pictures on the security camera and buy cough drops. After that,Blockbuster! We rented Coraline and a couple other good movies. And then searched around town for champagne mangoes (didn't find them). Unfortunately,all the excitement ends when my friends go home. But its alright,I know that they will be back soon;as in on Wednesday.
It's hard to forget those days when the only thing I could think of was my departure,my end. I guess happiness is something that comes when you are just about to give up. And I do not mean to inspire some solitary soul,thinking about those things is never something you should even be hoping for.
But to slowly drag on to the point;I would like to begin my first blog from a recent clash in my life.
Sex has never been an essential thing to me,I've never had it and I don't feel the rush to do it. I personally believe that the longer I wait, the better it will be. So when I was exposed to this "sex after" type of situation,I had nothing to do but to choke. And hope that my tears would cling onto my lacrimal gland and just hold on for dear life. After all the last thing I want to do is be seen crying by who I thought was the love of my life for about three months. Now let me not mention the moments before when I felt that I was being used for a name,just to be someone he could call his gf. But I guess great friends win over that fact.
Friday,June 24th
What I do for my friends is something not even my family would forgive. We took a ride to Pembroke today,to help my friend get past the feelings for this heart-breaker.I guess that we got to our destination and were being
completely ignored but I guess getting in the bus was even worse,the distance was unbearable. Me and my so called boyfriend ignored each other the whole ride to the house. Thank god my friends were there and we threw a couple of smiles and giggles back and forth,which definitely kept the ride "joyful". The house was where the whole sex thing happened,the clinging tears,the false i love you's and all the rest. And in the end after all the artificial kisses,I walked back into the bus with a shattered heart.
Saturday,June 25th
I'm sure a couple of my nonexistent readers have heard of the admirable Warped Tour. You know the one where a girl gets lost in the pouring rain and can't find her best friend,boyfriend or old crush. That's the one I'm talking about. But nothing inexplicable and exciting really happened there. Except for the sloppy kiss in the rain in front of half of the crowd. Oh,I almost forgot to mention the fact that Jacob came over with his dirty legs from the show and cuddled with me while he held my hand watching El Cantante. I guess it was romantic excluding that my sister (6) was here and my mom was coming back home in three hours. And let's not forget that I have a so called boyfriend.
Sunday,June 26th
I have only one thing to say,One only; Mom came home today at 10am.
Monday,June 27th
Cammie and Chrissy came over,I love it how they just call me the day before to let me know that they will be here in the morning. I could not wish for any better friends,really. I met them almost halfway to my house (walking distance) with two cups of lemonade in each hand. Got a comment from a man who asked me if I was " Going to refill my lemonade stand?". And then watched Cammie attempt to finish writing her blog. Then we went to Walgreens to buy feminine products,candy,take pictures on the security camera and buy cough drops. After that,Blockbuster! We rented Coraline and a couple other good movies. And then searched around town for champagne mangoes (didn't find them). Unfortunately,all the excitement ends when my friends go home. But its alright,I know that they will be back soon;as in on Wednesday.
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